Complimenting a woman can be a powerful way to show her how much you appreciate and admire her. But let’s be honest, too many guys get it wrong. They either state the blatantly obvious or overuse compliments until they become meaningless. To master the art of complimenting, you need to be genuine, thoughtful, and a little bit creative. Let’s dive into how you can give compliments that make her feel special and appreciated, without sounding cheesy or insincere.
Finding the Perfect Compliment
1. Identify What She Values in Herself
First things first, think about what the woman values about herself. Go beyond her clothes and makeup, as she might do that more for others than for herself. Consider something she truly cares about, like her ability to play an instrument or her knack for being great with kids.
Example: “You’re so loving and gentle with everyone, even when they make it really hard. That’s wonderful. I wish there were more people like you.”
2. Notice What She Values in Others
Pay attention to how she talks about others. You’ve probably seen her compliment someone before or mention something she admires in others. Use these insights to compliment her on qualities she might not even realize she has.
Example: “I think it’s funny that you don’t think you’re smart like him. I mean, there’s no way I could have done that report last year without your help.”
3. Recognize Her Efforts to Improve
Compliment her on the things she’s working hard to improve. You don’t have to mention her efforts directly, but acknowledging her progress can be incredibly uplifting.
Example: “You really kept your head in that meeting. I admire that…I don’t think I could have.”
4. Go Beyond Beauty
Complimenting beauty is fine, but it can come with complications. She’s probably used to hearing it, and it might make her feel like you only appreciate her looks. Use these compliments sparingly and in the right context.
Example: “Andrea may be the bride, but you’re the most beautiful woman in the room to me.”
5. Compliment Something New
Noticing and complimenting something new about her shows that you’re paying attention. It could be a change in her hairstyle, a new pair of earrings, or anything else she’s tried recently.
Example: “I don’t really ‘get’ shoes, but there’s something about those shoes that says you’re going to own this room today.”
6. Let Compliments Happen Naturally
The best compliments are natural and spontaneous. They show that you’re being honest and not just pulling lines from a playbook. When you see something you genuinely admire, just say it.
Example: “I love how you handled that situation with Frank. You were so patient and understanding.”
Saying the Right Things
1. Be Specific
Generic compliments can feel insincere. Be specific about what you’re complimenting to show that you’ve genuinely noticed and appreciated something about her.
Example: “Your eyes make your whole face look so bright and happy.”
2. Make It Unique to Her
Creativity goes a long way. Compliments should be unique to her and not something she’s heard a million times.
Example: “You are so elegant; you remind me of Audrey Hepburn.”
3. Compliment Things She Controls
Focus on things she has control over, like her skills, accomplishments, or personality traits. This makes the compliment more meaningful and less likely to cause future self-doubt.
Example: “You are my inspiration to make positive changes in my life. I hope I can be as determined and committed as you.”
4. Avoid Sexual Comments
Never make sexual comments unless you’re already in a relationship with her. It can be uncomfortable and even scary for her.
Example: Don’t say anything like “Hey sexy girl, you wanna get with this?”
5. Skip the Cheesy Compliments
Cheesy compliments often sound insincere and overdone. If it sounds like it came from a romance novel, it’s best to avoid it.
Example: Instead of “Your smile is like a summer day,” try something more genuine.
6. Watch Out for Demeaning Language
Avoid compliments that put others down. It reflects poorly on you and might make her wonder if you’ll do the same to her.
Example: “I know you think Becky gets all the guys, but you’ve got everything that a good guy is looking for.”
7. Make Her Feel Significant
Give her a compliment that makes her feel unique and significant. This can be one of the most effective ways to warm her heart.
Example: “Every positive difference you make just radiates outward and creates more wonderful things in the world. I think what you’re doing is incredible.”
8. Be Careful with Weight Compliments
Complimenting weight loss can be tricky. Only do it if you know it was a result of her effort and not something else.
Example: “You seem so much happier and more confident lately.”
9. Don’t Compliment Just to Get Somewhere
Compliments should be about making her feel good, not about earning points. Sometimes, just having an honest conversation can get you further.
Example: Engage in genuine conversation instead of looking for the perfect compliment.
Delivering the Compliment
1. Save Compliments for the Right Moment
Don’t overdo it with compliments. Save them for moments when it’s important to make her feel good about herself.
Example: Compliment her when she’s feeling down or at the beginning of a date.
2. Be Completely Genuine
Women can tell when you’re not being genuine. Whatever you compliment her on, make sure you really mean it.
Example: Be as genuine as a child giving a heartfelt compliment, even if it’s a bit awkward.
3. Be Respectful
Compliment her respectfully. Avoid any backhanded compliments or remarks that could be seen as putting her down.
Example: “You handled that presentation so well; I’m really impressed.”
4. Compliment Her at the Right Time and Place
Timing and context are everything. Make sure your compliment is appropriate for the setting and the moment.
Example: Compliment her on her dress when you’re out for dinner, not right after an important meeting.
5. Show Her Instead of Telling Her
Actions speak louder than words. Sometimes, showing your admiration through actions can be more effective than any compliment.
Example: Cook her dinner to show appreciation instead of just saying it.
Tips for Effective Compliments
- Develop a good relationship before bombarding her with compliments.
- Find the right moment to compliment her, especially when she might be feeling insecure.
Mastering the art of complimenting a woman is about being genuine, thoughtful, and respectful. With these tips, you’ll be able to give compliments that make her feel truly special and appreciated.
Compliment Flirt Cheat Sheet
| Complementing | Flirting |
| Keep it brief and wait for a response | Maintain intense eye contact |
| Smile sincerely | Give her your biggest smile and a wink |
| Maintain a respectable distance | Move in a little closer and touch her lightly |
| Examples | Examples |
| That green sweater really brings out your eyes. | That ring is gorgeous (taking her hand). Is it an antique? |
| I saw you singing along to that last song. Not many people know that one. You have great taste in music. | You look beautiful swaying along to the music. Want to take it out on the dance floor (leading her by the elbow)? |
| I thought you did a really great job on that speech in class today. | You’re a really great basketball player. Want to show me some of your moves? |
| You look really fit. You must work out a lot. | I love that scent you’re wearing (leaning in for a better sniff). What is that? |
Sample Compliment Reactions
| If he/she… | You should… |
| Acts interested | Continue the conversation to see where things go. |
| Indicates she’s offended | Apologize profusely and leave quickly. |
| Rolls her eyes | Tone it down a notch and give it another shot. |
| Responds curtly | Try another topic or approach. |
| Blushes or disagrees with you | Tell the person it’s true and that they should give themselves more credit. |
| Seems creeped out | Clarify your intentions and explain that you’re being sincere. |
| Compliments you back | Accept it with humility and refocus the attention on him/her. |
| Says you took too long | Tell him/her you were just waiting for the right time to mention it. |
| Says he/she has a significant other | Say that person is very lucky and excuse yourself. |
| Tells you to get lost | Leave and be glad you didn’t waste any more time on him/her. |
Related: How to Accept Compliments