Congratulations! You’ve earned someone’s respect and admiration. What do you say to that? If you’re flustered by praise, it’s time to learn to take a compliment at face value and appreciate the sentiment. Refuse the urge to put yourself down or minimize your efforts. Instead, acknowledge the compliment and say thank you. After all, you’re worth it.
Things You Should Know
- Accept a compliment with a simple, “Thank you.” Or, express your gratitude by saying, “That’s so sweet of you.”
- Acknowledge your abilities graciously. Instead of saying, “Thanks, I know,” say, “Thank you. I put much effort into this, so I’m glad you liked it.”
- Recognize your strengths and accomplishments to help you accept compliments.
Responding to Compliments
- Say, “Thank You.”
Take your time with it and read everyone’s comments. If someone compliments you, the most straightforward response is to say, “Thank you.”
- Example: If someone compliments your outfit (even if you think you look sloppy), say, “Thank you.”
- Tip: Don’t look for “hidden meanings” or make your interpretations of the compliment diminish it. Accept it at face value. For instance, if someone says, “Your hair looks great today!” don’t take it to mean it doesn’t look great every other day.
- Express Your Gratitude
Whether you agree with the compliment or not matters little, and the other person’s motivations also matter little. Acknowledge that somebody spent a moment saying something nice about you and accept that moment graciously.
- Example: If someone compliments your dog’s good behavior, say, “That’s kind, thank you.”
- Give Credit Where Credit Is Due
If someone pays you a compliment, yet other people are involved, give them credit as well. This is especially important when receiving recognition. Credit anyone who helped you or contributed.
- Example: If you are serving a meal your sister helped prepare, include her when accepting a compliment. Say, “Thank you, Abby and I worked on it together. We’re so glad you enjoyed it.”
- Return a Compliment
- Remember when a person compliments you and note that it’s friendly and courteous to return the compliment. While you don’t need to say something nice immediately, remember their compliment and find something to compliment them on. Get into the habit of making regular compliments by seeing the good in others and expressing this openly. People appreciate being acknowledged for hard work and kind gestures. Show that their kindness does not go unnoticed.
- Be Gracious
Many people worry about appearing overly confident or stuck up when receiving compliments. The trick is to accept the compliment as is. Saying, “I know, thank you,” can come across as rude, even though you’re acknowledging your abilities. Focus on being gracious, warm, and receptive.
- Example: If you worked hard on your presentation and know you nailed it, you don’t have to say so when complimented. You can, however, acknowledge your hard work by saying, “Thank you. I worked hard, and it’s nice to hear you enjoyed it.”
- Demonstrate Appropriate Nonverbal Behavior
Show that you are receptive to the compliment through your body language. Maintain steady eye contact and indicate interest and engagement through your facial expression. Crossing your arms may indicate that you’re not receptive or skeptical.
- Tip: When taking a compliment, smiling says a lot without requiring you to say anything.
- Respond to a Backhanded Compliment
A backhanded compliment is an insult disguised as a compliment. For example, “Your holiday decorations look great — I’m always amazed at what you do with so little money.” Responding to a backhanded compliment can be tricky. If someone gives you a backhanded compliment, assess what they might mean from it. If they seek attention or sympathy, feel free to ignore it or respond only to the positive part of it. If the person appears genuinely clueless in their misstep, say thank you and move on.
- Example: A family member might compliment you on your recent marriage. Instead of taking offense, say, “Thanks, Aunt Maude!”
- Tip: If the person is seeking attention (for example, saying, “You look nice today. Why don’t you dress this way more often?”), respond to the positive part. Say, “Thank you for noticing.”
Being More Receptive to Compliments
- Own Your Strengths
If you shy away from compliments because you don’t want to appear arrogant or full of yourself, recognize that you deserve recognition. It’s not conceited to accept a compliment. If someone points out that you look nice or did a great job on a project, acknowledge that you put work into it and that they recognize you.
- Example: If you put a lot of work into a presentation and someone says, “Great presentation!” acknowledge your hard work by saying, “Thanks! I worked hard on it.”
- Avoid Disconfirming the Compliment
You may be tempted to disagree with the comment to appear humble. However, by saying things like, “It was nothing” or, “Don’t mention it,” you downplay your role, the compliment, and the person giving it. Besides, the person might feel rejected if you disagree.
- Example: If someone compliments your clean house, resist the urge to say, “I haven’t cleaned in a week. It looks horrible!” This might make them feel bad or make you think they are sloppy.
- See Yourself the Way That Others See You
Take a moment and reflect on the compliments you receive. Whether you believe them or not, take the chance to see how others see you. You might learn something about yourself or your work and feel more positive.
- Example: If you often receive compliments about your job performance, that means that other people are noticing the great work you do.
- Tip: Understand that your self-evaluations will tend to be harsher or more demanding than other people’s evaluations of you. If you find yourself constantly second-guessing compliments, there may be something you need to change about your self-evaluations.
- Boost Your Self-Esteem
If you feel good about yourself, you may feel good when someone else notices something positive about you. Increasing your self-esteem can make you less resistant to compliments. Do this by thinking positively about yourself and recognizing your worth.
- Tip: Write down the things you like about yourself and think about them when you feel low.
Tips for Accepting Compliments
- Keep it brief. Don’t try to fill a word shortage with a lot of extra words that don’t belong.
- Acknowledge the compliment: Remember to acknowledge the compliment before changing the topic. If they took the time to compliment you, it was likely genuine and should be handled as such.
- You are entitled: Remember that you are just as entitled to receive compliments as everyone else. Don’t try to shy away from them.
Accepting compliments can be challenging, but with practice, you can learn to appreciate the positive recognition from others without feeling awkward or undeserving. Recognize your strengths, acknowledge the efforts of others, and always express gratitude graciously.